I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
