I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize