So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize