the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
one might say we're banned from that church
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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