So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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