U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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