I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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