My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
