if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize