Non-Jews are for practice
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize