had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
