You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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