people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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