I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
