I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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