Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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