I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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