No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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