I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
