and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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