but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
