Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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