Define "chronic" masturbator.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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