I must be too annoying 4 u.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
