she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
