I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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