So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
