It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
