I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
