I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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