Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
