We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
