haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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