So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize