I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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