im drinking this country out of the recession.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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