"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
