sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
