I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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