if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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