No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you win again, gameday.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
