You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
