We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
