ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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