So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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