I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
