So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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