she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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