4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
