It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
