Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He shit in the fireplace
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize