i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
