sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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