hotel room ftw
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
