bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize