I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
