Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i permit you to call me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
