we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
as a side note pls kill me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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