Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
