he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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