so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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