You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
