listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Randomize
